Discipline vs. Punishment

What is the right think to do and when?

For a long time the argument of what is best for kids, and the effect it will cause in their life has become a major issue. Some parents believe that positive discipline doesn't affect kids psychologically compared with corporal punishment.

ABSTRACT 


          On recent years researches had found out that corporal punishment actually have a strong relationship between adolescents who in their childhood were corporal punished, with violence and delinquency. Criminal rates had increase in the past five years. As parents we have the job to reinforce discipline in our kids, and it’s our choice to find the best way to do it. One way to change these criminal rates in our society is start educating our children at home; using positive discipline that will help them reflect from their mistakes and understand the problem caused from their behavior. Corporal punishment vs. positive discipline is always going to be a subject of augment. Parents need to think of what is best for their kids and their future. Some of the results have showed that corporal punishment has a higher relationship with teenagers with behavioral problems vs. kids who had received positive discipline during their childhood. My paper will discuss how corporal punishment has a negative effect on teenagers who in their childhood were discipline negatively vs. teenagers who received positive discipline in their childhood. Also, this paper will show information preventing corporal punishment and ways to use positive discipline on children.

Discipline vs. Punishment an Everyday Argument

            There are many arguments about what is the best way to discipline our children. In schools teachers argue how kids should be discipline during school time. Positive behavior can be introduced to kids that have a behavioral problem, and are related with antisocial behavior. Violence, vandalism, and bullying are some of problems presented on teen agers who childhood is related with corporal punishment. Most teachers are concern for the safety of the school; creating a negative environment for the rest of the kids who attend to school. Schools are a big influence for our kids, since they spend most of the time in there. Some teachers have proposed the use of positive discipline in schools to promote a safer environment. In schools teachers are reinforcing positive discipline for children. Corporal Punishment has negative social and psychological effects that many schools are trying to prevent. Antisocial behaviors on teenagers are related to negative discipline, and this affects the school population and risks their safety. Schools are working harder every day to change disciplinary ways that are affecting students.

            

             Corporal Punishment is a national issue. Most parents had spanks their kids at least once. Most of us can remember being spanked during our childhood. For most people corporal punishment is the most common way to discipline their children. Also, some people who agree with spanking relate social problems, and young people’s disrespecting adults with the lack of corporal discipline. This type of discipline can be old fashion, but is being proven that Corporal punishment can lead to abuse. During the 19^th and 20^th century many parents fought for the removal of corporal punishment from schools, and many teachers got sued if the parents believed that the “paddle “ was being excessive as a form of discipline for their children. The Supreme Court which protects against cruel and unusual punishment on the 4^th and 5^th amendment states that: “these amendments apply to criminal defendants not to students.” Some people who defend the spanking argue that prohibiting corporal punishment is a violation of their religious beliefs. Spanking should be only used on the bottom, and when the parent is not angry.  Corporal punishment for kids has caused controversy because many people discipline their kids according with their religious beliefs and others agree that corporal punishment should be prohibit because caused behavioral problems and antisocial effects on teenagers who is being negatively discipline in their childhood.

             

               Corporal punishment has being proved as ineffective. It has been many studies to prove how corporal punishment affects kids in a long term. Is being declare as an ineffective way to discipline children, because instead of make the child understand the reason of their discipline and think about their behavior causes a confusing and a misinterpretation of the use of violence. Many people think that corporal punishment trigger anti-social behavior, and violent reaction for teenagers who had to confront different and in times hard situations in life. Corporal punishment can train a child for the use of violence, and make them believed that is ok for the use of violent reaction. Some religious institution categorized Corporal punishment as a sexual violation. The bottom area is classified as an erogenous zone of the human body and spanking can change their perception of sexuality later on life. Schools also relate negative discipline with lower IQ’s in children, because slows down their intellectual development. Most of the anti-spanking groups encourage parents for the use of positive discipline in their children, stating that corporal punishment only causes fear for the parents instead of respect. Many kids are not able to manage their feelings and negative discipline can create negative feelings with their parents. The convention of the rights of the child; encourage the early identification of abuse on children to protect them and provide the necessary support for the children and their family.

In most countries physical abuse is illegal. In the United States the use of Corporal Punishment is allow. The use of corporal punishment for kids is allowed in the United States. But many of these kids who are punish ends up on abuse. Many parents who use the corporal punishment as they way to discipline their children go too far, and abuse their kids unintentionally. Parents who discipline their kids with anger are proven to be lead to abuse in most of the cases. Many countries have ban corporal punishment as a way to discipline children at home or in schools. Corporal punishment is a big legal issue in America because is a controversy issue. In the United States 21 states still allow corporal punishment in schools. As an example California Law states that: “…a parent has the right to reasonably discipline a child by physical punishment and may administer reasonable punishment without being liable for battery. In order to consider disciplinary the punishment most be necessary, be reasonable, not excessive, in the order of a third party.” Many people who use corporal punishment usually do not care of the opinion of the people around them. For instance if a parent is disciplining his child and someone else gets involved, the parent will warn the third person to mind their own business.

            Corporal punishment has serious physical and emotional consequences. For most young adults who faced corporal punishment during their childhood. These adolescents face family separation, depression, and socioeconomic down faults. Also, corporal punishment can lead to serious medical conditions due to the use and abuse of the negative discipline. Some of the medical conditions it can create are: blood-clotting, severe muscle injury, whiplash damage, and hemorrhaging.  When parents use corporal punishment as a method of discipline should consider all the after effects that result from the use of this negative discipline. For many years corporal punishment was one of the most discipline methods use in the world. Many people who fight for the kid’s rights oppose to the use of corporal punishment arguing that is harmful and the abuse of this method lead to serious effects that can damage the child emotional and physically for the rest of their life and even dead.       

Positive Discipline is always an option

                   Positive discipline is the best way to teach our kids how to behave. Many parents use these method that proves being highly effective to teach our children right from wrong. Many kids who are corporal punished do not understand why they being discipline, but the use of positive discipline help the child to recognize the problem and have a reflexion of the behavior that cause the problem. Positive discipline shows in many ways that is more effective than punishment. It don't have long term consequences and creates adults with common sense. Eduaction starts at home. Parents have the responsability to educate their children at home, instead of expecting the teacher to do all the job for us. Positive discipline is always an option and the best option for the kids.

The American Psychological Association recommend for parents who has crossed the line between discipline and abuse to assist to counsel. The way parents punish their children is different and not because some of them use mild corporal punishment, it doesn’t mean it will end up in an abusive situation for the child. There is public belief that corporal punishment is effective in getting children to comply immediately while at the same time is a chance for child abuse, and eventually turn into child maltreatment. Until the possibility of present any positive effects for corporal punishment by researchers, clinicians, and parents, on the presence of teen misbehavior and antisocial effects. Psychologists recommend avoiding the use of corporal punishment as a form of discipline.

Introduction

            Everyone had memories of being spanked during their childhood. I certainly can remember mines. I can remember doing stuff I was told not to, and got a “whooping” for it. My mother and I laughed anytime we talked about it. My parents raise me as we call “old school”. I was disciplined with corporal punishment most of my childhood. I can still picture my Mom chasing me with the belt, sandal, or anything she could reach. As kids we never think it’s fair anytime we got discipline. During my childhood I use to be very upset anytime I got  punished, but most parents don’t see it as an abuse, but a way to teach children right from wrong. All my memories of childhood involved some type of corporal punishment from my parents. Most of us have some of these memories, or we remember some of our friends getting “whooped”. I remember looking out of the window during a fall cold night from the apartment complex in the second floor where I spent most of my childhood. I was enjoying the sound of the wind that made every time it crashed against the building, and how the wind with its strength made the leafs fall from the trees. The next thing I saw was my next door neighbor running as fast as he could. He was around 5 years old back then. He was running so fast that he could win a marathon. I could hear someone screaming, and next thing I saw his Grandmother chasing him through the playground with a belt on her hands. I don’t know what he had done, but I knew right in that moment she was upset. As soon as she reached him she started swinging the belt on her hand. I knew when he started screaming that he was getting a “whooping”.

            Getting a “whooping” was a very usual thing some years ago. Corporal punishment it’s being around for centuries. Parents have choose the use of corporal punishment as a disciplinary act because it seemed to be the most effective way to communicate kids to teach them right from wrong. In present days corporal punishment still used as a disciplinary act, but is not so frequent. Parents have chosen positive discipline to help their kids understand the consequences of their actions. Schools all over the United States have changed the used of corporal punishment on kids, to the use of positive discipline. The use of positive discipline help kids to build self-confidence, understand the effects on their self and the ones around them. The use of positive discipline is being encouraged for most Psychologists. The argument between the use of Corporal Punishment and positive discipline has being contradictory for some parents who still use corporal punishment. Some of the studies showed that corporal punishment have a strong link with delinquency and antisocial behaviors on teens who were corporal punished during their childhood. This paper will show the arguments establish between corporal punishments vs. positive discipline. Also, it will review the consequences that are link with the used of corporal punishment, and the effects on teens that were discipline with corporal punishment vs. positive discipline.    

Corporal Punishment vs. Positive Discipline

            Corporal punishment is one of the most controversy issues in our society. Parents and teachers always wonder; what is the best thing to do? The American Psychological Association on its article “Is Corporal Punishment an Effective Means of Discipline?” Talks about how corporal punishment can lead to physical abuse. The use of Corporal punishment shows a link between kids who were corporal punished during their childhood and antisocial behaviors. The American Psychological Association tested 11 teenagers which 10 of them show antisocial behavior and delinquency problems that had a strong relationship with corporal punishment during their childhood. These article also states that “the use of corporal punishment do not imply that all children who were exposed to corporal punishment during their childhood turn out to be delinquent or aggressive” (American Psychological Association). Corporal Punishment is a contradictory issue that has being around for a long time. The decision of what is the best way to discipline kids is the parent’s choice. Adults have the responsibility to educate their selves, so they can educate their children. We have to understand that education starts at home and we are responsible for our children’s behavior.

            As parents we have the most though job; to educate our children at home for a better society. There is many arguments stating why corporal punishment is more effective than positive discipline, but there is also the concern of parents for the risk of further antisocial and delinquent behaviors. The Children’s Trust Fund in their article “Effective Discipline” explains that the use of positive discipline is an effective method to teach children how to behave, and teach children to understand the consequences of their behavior. This article explains that having the communication with our children encourage them to learn the bases of respect. Also, it helps us to use positive discipline by following these simple steps:

·         Be calm. Your calmness is contagious and will help the child to calm down.

·         Be confident. Reinforce the rules established at home by enforcing them consistently and we confidence.

·         Focus on your child. Says his or her name when direct orders is given, and look directly at the child.

·         Praise good behavior. Use specific praise that reiterates the good thing your child did and what it meant.

·         Gentle reminders. Time these appropriately.

·         Present choices. Instead of always telling kids not to do something, give the child choices that as parents will be comfortable with.

·         Don’t ask, tell. Asking leaves the decision up to the child and their answer will be most likely “no”.

·         When….Then…Tell your child when he completes an act of good behavior, then something desirable for the child will happen.

·         Tell your child you will count to ten. And explain what it needs to be done during the countdown.   

·         Invite Input. Work out a situation together by asking your child how he or she would solve the problem.

Say please and thank you. This helps your child to use these important terms in his or her own language, but also provides an air of civility and kindness.

·         Focus your message and be specific. Direct your child specifically.

·         Brief is best. One or two sentences will work better than a lecture in most cases.

·         Use “I “phrases instead of “you “phrases. Shift your criticism from the child to the child’s behavior.

·         Don’t give to many orders at once. As your child completes a task, direct him or her to the next one to avoid overwhelming your child.

These articles give the parents many options that will be helpful for the children’s development. States the bases of communication of “what you say, and how you say it-is the key” (The Children’s Trust Fund). We as parents always have the concern of what is the best choice for our kids. It is important to do some research to find the best way to discipline our children. Positive discipline has proved to have positive effects on children. Positive discipline teaches children to have an effective communication with others, and express their ideas without any fear.

  Corporal Punishment has being around for many centuries.

    

Positive discipline supports communication between parents and children.  Teachers in schools are reinforcing the use of positive discipline in schools. There is much intent to ban corporal punishment from schools. M.J Stephey mention on his article “Corporal Punishment in U.S Schools” why corporal punishment still condoned is, “because educators face the difficult task of maintaining order in their classroom.” Stephey also say that, corporal punishment is the quickest way to discipline children and most schools lack of training in how positively discipline children. The use of corporal punishment in schools can also affect children with disabilities. Some of these kids with disabilities are wrongfully discipline, and cause them to slower their learning process and make it more difficult than already is. He also, talks about how corporal punishment is used in rural schools without any control. The use of corporal punishment in rural schools is used because sometimes teachers can’t find an alternative way to discipline children one rural student states inside of this article that, “we couldn’t have after school detention. There was no busing. Kids who have detention have to find another way home.” M.J Stephey also talks on his article, “most juvenile correction facilities in the U.S have banned corporal punishment but yet still allow in public schools.” Corporal punishment still is allow in some states in the U.S, and is intervening with children development (Stephey).  The use of corporal punishment in schools needs to be controlled. Teachers need more training to use positive discipline with children and help with the development of those who suffers of any learning disability. The use of corporal punishment in schools causes controversy for those who oppose to it. It is important to support school programs for kids and more training for teachers who are willing to participate on programs to help children in a positive way.

   

The Center for Effective Discipline shows in their web site some of the states in the map below who still used corporal punishment as a method of discipline:

  U.S.: Corporal Punishment and Paddling

Statistics by State and Race

31 States (In White) Have Banned School Corporal Punishment

Nineteen states (in red) have laws permitting corporal punishment in schools

In the 2005-2006 school year, 223,190 school children in the U.S. were subjected to physical punishment. This is a significant drop of almost 18%, continuing a steady trend from the early 1980's.

CENTER FOR EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE

Number of Students Struck Each Year in U.S. Public Schools

Year	# of Whites	# of Blacks	Total # of Kids  Hit %
1976	992,675 65	447,314 29	1,521,896               3.5
1978	940,467 65	411,271 29	1,418,317               3.4
1980	901,032 64	403,386 29	1,408,303               3.4
1982	no statistical projection was made this year
1984	852,427 64	374,315 28	1,332,317               3.3
1986	659,224 60	345,411 31	1,099,731               2.7
1988	549,572 61	255,296 28	898,370                  2.2
1990	346,488 56	208,543 34	613,760                  1.5
1992	295,050 53	215,684 39	555,531                  1.3
1994	256,363 54	182,394 39	470,683                  1.1

1997	241,406 53	178,114 39	457,754                   1.0
1998	199,572 55	135,523 37	365,058                   0.8
2000	181,689 53	132,065 39	342,038                   0.7
2003	159,446 53	115,819 38	301,016                   0.6
2004	143,002 53	104,627 38	272,028                   0.57
2006	119,339 53	79,613 36	223,190                   0.46

            In the 2005-2006 school year, 223,190 school children in the U.S. were subjected to physical punishment. This is a significant drop of almost 18%, continuing a steady trend from the early 1980's.

The 10 worst states, by percentage of students struck

by educators in the 2005-2006 school year:

Rank	State	Percentage
1	Mississippi	7.5
2	Arkansas	4.7
3	Alabama	4.5
4	Oklahoma	2.3
5	Louisiana	1.7
6	Tennessee	1.5
7	Texas	1.1
8	Georgia	1.1
9	Missouri	.6
10	Florida	.3

School teachers and parents need to work together to reinforce better positive ways to discipline children. Scott Lax talks on his article “ The Paddle and the Damage Done- Paddling in Schools”  that,   “The teachers may choose paddling over detention, but it's the wrong choice, because with every whack, they're getting the wrong message. They're being told that violence is an answer to things that can be solved without violence. They're learning that adults are so inept they can't figure out ways to deal with troublemakers, from the overly chatty and mobile ones (like I was) to the truly dangerous, like the students who injured art teacher Laura Frick as she attempted to break up a fight at Fulton School in Cleveland this January.”(Lax). Is important to understand that violence can’t be solve with more violence it only causes a conflict on the students mind in how to solve problems.

                Many people believe that the best way to discipline a kid is with corporal punishment; in schools teacher’s belief that is the best way to make them understand their mistakes caused from violence. Many of these people who have these beliefs have some kind of religious link. Most of us have heard “spare the rod, spoil the child”; ”; this famous phrase that most people believed it came from the Bible is used  to excuse most of the parents and teachers ways to discipline their kids by corporal punishment.
 The Bible is often used to justify the use of violence with children.  Scott Lax also mentions on his article “The Paddle and the Damage Done-Paddling in Schools”  that, most of the phrases use to excuse the use of Corporal Punishment are found in the Bible . For most people the use of the Bible is something serious that should be used to support the acts against their beliefs. Lax also mention, “If you take the Bible seriously, you have to notice Jesus' attitude toward children. It was wise, loving, and filled with compassion.”(Lax). The use of biblical phrases is common between older people and teachers who agreed with the use of corporal punishment . 

 

In twenty nine countries around the world, it is illegal for a parent, teacher, or anyone else to spank a child, and one hundred and thirteen countries prohibit corporal punishment in schools. Yet in all of North America, physical punishment by a parent, as long as it is not severe, is still seen by many as necessary discipline, and condoned, or sadly, even encouraged. Jan Hunt on her web site “The Natural Child Project “ give us ten reasons why we shouldn’t hit our kids:

1. Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves. Extensive research data is now available to support a direct correlation between corporal punishment in childhood and aggressive or violent behavior in the teenage and adult years. Virtually all of the most dangerous criminals were regularly threatened and punished in childhood. It is nature's plan that children learn attitudes and behaviors through observation and imitation of their parents' actions, for good or ill. Thus it is the responsibility of parents to set an example of empathy and wisdom.

2. In many cases of so-called "bad behavior", the child is simply responding in the only way he can, given his age and experience, to neglect of basic needs. Among these needs are: proper sleep and nutrition, treatment of hidden allergy, fresh air, exercise, and sufficient freedom to explore the world around him. But his greatest need is for his parents' undivided attention. In these busy times, few children receive sufficient time and attention from their parents, who are often too distracted by their own problems and worries to treat their children with patience and empathy. It is surely wrong and unfair to punish a child for responding in a natural way to having important needs neglected. For this reason, punishment is not only ineffective in the long run, it is also clearly unjust.

3. Punishment distracts the child from learning how to resolve conflict in an effective and humane way. As the educator John Holt wrote, "When we make a child afraid, we stop learning dead in its tracks."  A punished child becomes preoccupied with feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge, and is thus deprived of the opportunity to learn more effective methods of solving the problem at hand. Thus, a punished child learns little about how to handle or prevent similar situations in the future.

4. The phrase "Spare the rod and spoil the child" is not from the Bible but from Samuel Butler's "Hudibras", a 17th Century satirical poem. The poem, like his novel, The Way of All Flesh, was written to expose and denounce violence against children. Ironically, this phrase is now used to justify corporal punishment and other punitive actions against children.

5. Punishment interferes with the bond between parent and child, as it is not human nature to feel loving toward someone who hurts us. The true spirit of cooperation which every parent desires can arise only through a strong bond based on mutual feelings of love and respect. Punishment, even when it appears to work, can produce only superficially good behavior based on fear, which can only take place until the child is old enough to resist. In contrast, cooperation based on respect will last permanently, bringing many years of mutual happiness as the child and parent grow older.

6. Many parents never learned in their own childhood that there are positive ways of relating to children. When punishment does not accomplish the desired goals, and if the parent is unaware of alternative methods, punishment can escalate to more frequent and dangerous actions against the child.

7. Anger and frustration which cannot be safely expressed by a child become stored inside; angry teenagers do not fall from the sky. Anger that has been accumulating for many years can come as a shock to parents whose child now feels strong enough to express this rage. Punishment may appear to produce "good behavior" in the early years, but always at a high price, paid by parents and by society as a whole, as the child enters adolescence and early adulthood.

8. Spanking on the buttocks, an erogenous zone in childhood, can create in the child's mind an association between pain and sexual pleasure, and lead to difficulties in adulthood. "Spanking wanted" ads in alternative newspapers attest to the sad consequences of this confusion of pain and pleasure. If a child receives little parental attention except when being punished, this will further merge the concepts of pain and pleasure in the child's mind. A child in this situation will have little self-esteem, believing he deserves nothing better. For more on this topic, see "The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children" (also in French).

Even relatively moderate spanking can be physically dangerous. Blows to the lower end of the spinal column send shock waves along the length of the spine, and may injure the child. The prevalence of lower back pain among adults in our society may well have its origins in childhood punishment. Some children have become paralyzed through nerve damage from spanking, and some have died after mild paddling, due to undiagnosed medical complications.

9. Physical punishment gives the dangerous and unfair message that "might makes right", that it is permissible to hurt someone else, provided they are smaller and less powerful than you are. The child then concludes that it is permissible to mistreat younger or smaller children. When he becomes an adult, he can feel little compassion for those less fortunate than he is, and fears those who are more powerful. This will hinder the establishment of meaningful relationships so essential to an emotionally fulfilling life.

10. Because children learn through parental modeling, physical punishment gives the message that hitting is an appropriate way to express feelings and to solve problems. If a child does not observe a parent solving problems in a creative and humane way, it can be difficult for him to learn to do this himself. For this reason, unskilled parenting often continues into the next generation.

She supports the love and respect between families. Jan Hunt promotes the communication and encourages promoting strong values that will create caring citizens (Hunt).The use of corporal punishment only encourages the use of violence to solve any problems. As parents we should educate ourselves to avoid the use of corporal punishment, and if we are on the line between discipline and abuse do anything to find counseling our help for the benefit of our families.

Conclusion

                The use of Corporal Punishment on kids has several repercussions on their life. Most kids who have being discipline by corporal punishment present during their adolescence signs of antisocial behavior and delinquency problems. Even that not all kids present this link with corporal punishment, as parents is our job to find healthier ways to teach our children positive ways to behave without the use of violence. Positive Discipline creates stronger kids with self-confidence and independent individuals who are capable to solve problems without the use of violence, and be able to reason problems and solve them without hurting their own self-esteem on the ones around them.